Your actions and behavior speak louder than words, and send a message eons before you do. They could signal that you’re a good or bad person, unknowingly to you. Folks on an online forum discuss some obvious and not-so-obvious things that signal if you are a good person. Here are some signs we consider the most obvious red flags.
1. You Never Take Accountability for Anything
It’s hard to understand people who think that nothing is ever their fault, even when there is hard evidence pointing to that fact. They always find some external reason for their nasty attitude or hurtful words. You should look for this; if you can relate, consider making some lifestyle changes.
2. Backbiting People
Nothing screams evil louder than talking nasty things about people behind their backs. The worst is when you can’t repeat the same thing in their presence — so why say it?
People believe that anyone who talks trash about other people to you would most likely do the same about you to other people.
3. Treating People Differently
This is often subtle, with only the people you treat differently noticing. You know those “friends” who are all nice when you are alone and somewhat hostile and offensive when people are around? Or it could be the other way around — aggressive and abusive when you both are alone and friendly when people are around — basically, acting as though they have a dual personality.
Now, ask yourself if you’ve been that friend, and you’ll have your answer on whether or not you’ve been a terrible person.
4. People Pleasing
Next on the list to look out for is if you are only nice to people because you can gain something from them or their status and influence. Some people treat others who can’t offer them anything or think they are beneath them with little to no respect.
And if you stop being “useful” to them most times, they could switch up on you too. Having someone like that in your life would be exhausting, and being that person to others is equally exhausting.
5. Boundary Debating
Someone mentions when people have an issue with other people’s boundaries. Once someone they know states a boundary, especially one crossed consistently, they try to force the person to do those things they have clearly stated they aren’t comfortable with.
Their options include guilt-tripping, pressuring, threatening, or outrightly forcing you into doing what they want. This selfish attitude would only push people away from them, and they would rarely see anything wrong with their actions. Exhausting doesn’t even describe how a relationship with someone like that would be.
6. Never Apologizing
It’s unbelievable when people never apologize for hurting others or apologize for them being displeased with what they did instead of apologizing for the wrong they did.
For instance, instead of saying, “I’m sorry about what I did” or “I’m sorry that I did this to hurt you,” they would rather say, “I am sorry that you have an issue with what I did,” or “I apologize that you think that I hurt you.” They refuse to be held accountable and make the other person responsible for feeling hurt by their actions. If you’re fond of this, it’s never too late to turn things around and make real-life changes.
7. Having Main Character Syndrome
We all understand that we aren’t in a movie and the world doesn’t revolve around us. You would think every adult would know and understand this, but no. Some people make everything about them; they’re either the hero or the victim. No in-between.
When you think the world revolves around you, you become uncaring, mean, and desensitized to the world around you. It’s a red flag people can see miles away.
8. Being Envious of Friends’ Success
Why would anyone want to be friends with someone who can’t be genuinely happy for them when they hit gold? Would you be friends with that person? While we can’t help but be the green bunny now and then, if you’re always envious of another’s achievements, you may need some deep self-reflection before your attitude drives everyone away.
9. Your Actions and Words Are Different
If your actions and words differ, you can never be trusted to say something and keep your word. No one would ever ask you to do anything important because they can’t trust you.
Also, when you claim your values are x, and you do y, it signifies you’re someone people can’t trust, even if they want to. They consider you a hypocrite and a terrible person, as a massive part of any relationship depends on trust.
10. Believing the Whole World Is Against You
If you constantly believe that everyone is against you, something is wrong. No one in history has ever had the world against them, so why would that be you? For instance, it could point to a bigger problem; a lack of accountability or a victim mentality. Those aren’t fun traits to hang around and are sure indicators of a terrible person.
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This thread inspired this post.