What Was the Last Thing You Put in Your Nose?
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Happy Monday friends! If you read this title and felt lost thinking you’d searched for a personal finance blog and landed on something else, I want to assure you that you are in the right place. I like to change things up every once in a while here at Frugal Rules and what better way to do that than a good, old fashioned rant? 😉
I know the title may take you aback, but it is genuine and something we’ve dealt with in the Frugal Rules home on too many occasions. So, if you’re wondering why I am talking about things being put in your nose, then grab a cup of your favorite drink and settle in.
I love my kids, I really do, but why is there no freaking warning before the “I like to stick EVERYTHING up my nose” stage? Don’t believe me? The littlest Frugal Rule, who is about 22 months old, has been putting everything known to man up there! The past few weeks the main culprit has been pomegranate seeds, which are perfectly sized to fit inside of nostrils. Though, this is not nearly as bad as his sister who stuck a diced carrot up her nose at his age. That required us driving across town to a good friend’s house who is a physician’s assistant. Five minutes and one tweezer with “teeth” later the carrot was expunged from her orifice.
Why on EARTH must we be hearing about the 2016 Presidential Election now? Last I checked this was 2013. Must we REALLY have a three year run up to the negative ads and vilifying of opposing parties?
Going back to the kiddos…when did food become a weapon? Our youngest one (probably because he is the baby of the family) shows his dissatisfaction for what’s served him by ceremoniously chucking said food as hard and as swift as he can across the room at a family member. Not only is this troublesome for those who sit around him, but it also means the carpet looks like a Rorschach test gone awry every evening.
I’ve gone off about Wal-Mart before, but why in the heck do you have 70 blasted check-out lanes when you only operate two at a time? I love keeping costs down like the next person, but come on. I went shopping there a few weeks ago, and they had two blasted lanes open and one of them was not able to sell liquor. So, because I had a bottle of wine I got to stand in line for nearly 20 minutes before I could even start the ridiculously long check out process.
Are you driving right now? Then get off your phone! Texting is supposedly against the law while driving here in Nebraska, but I regularly see people doing that or talking on their phones while driving. If putting your life, as well as those around you, at risk isn’t bad enough, I really wanted to drive 20 mph under the speed limit.
Oh, you’re mad at me because I am not wearing some God-awful red Nebraska football shirt? I’m sorry, I actually have a mind and can think for myself. That is what it’s like in a state that has only one sport and, worse yet, a sport that is a religion. You travel to other parts of the country and all many of them know about my fair state is Nebraska football. I HATE fall in Omaha because the looks we get for NOT wearing Nebraska gear. We’ve regularly been told that our business is not wanted on a Saturday because we’re not sporting those ridiculous colors. Sorry fans, I am not a fan of Kool-Aid.
Do you like to clean off your windshields when getting gas? I do too. Well, if you’re going to offer that at each island of your gas station then don’t you think you should have a squeegee or some fluid to clean it with on a somewhat regular basis? I know that sort of defies logic – but either there is a growing trend of people stealing squeegees, or you’re just too cheap to throw some water in there.
Why on earth must portion sizes go from small (which really isn’t small) to ginormous? Beyond that, why must you push us to buy said pool sized soda every time we frequent your establishment? There is a cheap theater in town that I have taken one of the little Frugal Rules to see a movie from time to time. I ask for a small soda, which is huge and the same guy pushes the bucket of soda on me each time because it’s cheaper with the popcorn we buy. If you didn’t see already, I have a four year-old and not only will that much soda put him into diabetic shock, it also means we’ll spend the entire movie in the bathroom!
Have you ever called a call center? Yeah, me too. Who on earth thought up these automated programs that can’t seem to understand the most basic of the English language? I know “Rep” is an INCREDIBLY difficult word to decipher, so I hope someone is getting a good laugh out of hearing 75% of us having to yell the word before we get a live human.
I’ll wrap it up with the kiddos…when they’re not sticking things on their noses, they’re using their hair as a napkin. That’s right, their hair as a napkin. Because, of course, when I need a napkin and can’t find one I instantly think “What the hell” and just wipe it on my head! To be fair, I am channeling Mrs. Frugal Rules here as she is not too pleased I taught one of the kids this. Hey, I can’t be responsible if it takes off, right? 😉
I know I went off a bit on the kiddos, please know it’s light hearted in nature and I do really love them. That said, what was the last thing that stuck in your ‘craw’ or, better yet, what was the last thing you put in your nose?
Photo courtesy of: Harmon