Should You Date a Guy Who Doesn’t Pay for Dinner?
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The rules of dating have really changed over the past few years. Now, people are getting married much later in life when they are more established financially. Because of that, there tends to be a bit of confusion over who should pay for dinner on a date since many women feel they work hard and can provide for themselves.
There are some places in the world where the answer to this question is easy. Take, for example, where I live in the deep South. If a man didn’t pay for your dinner on a date here in south Louisiana, your family would assume he was from somewhere else. He would not be considered a good catch, and your mama would wonder what his mama was thinking when she raised him. Welcome to my world. (Editor’s note…being from the South myself I couldn’t help but laugh as it’s definitely true.)
However, because I’ve had the great opportunity to live in a variety of different places, even outside of the United States, I’ve learned many more perspectives on this issue and have met women who simply want to pay for their own meals, simple as that.
Over time, here’s some of the data I’ve gathered about when women believe it’s okay for a man to pay for dinner:
1. If He Insists on Paying for Dinner
Many women today don’t automatically assume that their date will pay for their dinner. In fact, it’s pretty common for friends of mine who are dating to offer to pay for their part of the meal. It’s a nice, polite gesture, and the response is always really interesting. Most guys will insist, especially if it’s a first date. Some guys will accept, and some guys will act offended that their dates even offered. There doesn’t seem to be a general consensus on this one, but most of my single friends will graciously allow a man to buy their meal if he insists on doing so.
2. If He Extended the Invitation
Many women today don’t wait for guys to ask them out to dinner. If they like someone, many of them will go ahead and ask themselves. I’ve heard from a few friends that the person who extends the invitation should pay, whether they are male or female. So, if a nice gentleman extends the invitation for dinner and makes the reservation, I would assume it’s okay for him to pick up the check.
3. If He Believes in Old Fashioned Values
Again, using my example of growing up in the deep South, I know there are many men today who were raised with old fashioned values. They would never even dream of having a woman pay for her own meal, regardless of how successful she was or how much money she made. It’s not about being more dominant than her; it’s just a polite gesture that comes from his upbringing.
So, to answer the question posed in the title: Should you date a guy who doesn’t pay for dinner? I admit that I personally would be taken aback if a guy didn’t offer on the first date, but once you get to know someone and date for quite a long time, it really doesn’t matter who pays. Luckily, I don’t have to dabble in the world of dating, and I’m glad because it sure seems more complex than it was 8 years ago when I met my husband. 😉
Dating is always a fun topic to debate, especially when it intersects with money, so please share your opinions in the comments below!