Confessions of a Former Fast Food Employee
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I am not one that typically likes to follow what the celebrities are doing or who broke up with who yesterday. To be honest, I don’t care about the latest Kardashian divorce either. (As an aside I can’t believe that I just mentioned the Kardashians on Frugal Rules; there IS a first for everything!) That said, I have always been intrigued by celebrities and the jobs they used to have before they got their big break. Take for example, Matt Damon (one of my favorite actors) who was a breakdancer. I really don’t see him doing that, but maybe that explains why he did many of his own stunts in the Bourne movies. Another one that caught my eye was that Christopher Walken was a lion tamer. Now, that one, does not surprise me seeing some of his movie roles or his need for more cowbell.
Sadly my first job did not result in a big break, but I have had some interesting jobs. I’ve not always been a nerd who enjoyed working with numbers ad nauseam. Most of us have jobs that we worked in the past that we took to pay the bills or because we were in high school and just wanted a part-time job to get some spending money. Some of these jobs might make you laugh, cringe, or wish you could forget altogether when you remember them. I have had a few of those jobs myself from working at a convenience store to working as a bank teller to working at several fast food joints. When you start seeing how the sausage is made (literally) you start to question why on earth so many eat there and how something that nasty could be addictive. They’re addictive because they make it that way. Now, I am not trying to debate about obesity and fast food, but simply pull back the curtain on some of the practices that might make you question whether or not you want that bowl of fast food chili next time. Many of us would be better off staying home and eating in, choosing healthier options or even making our own juicing recipes than we would eating fast food. Following are some of the things I learned while working in the fast food industry during my high school and college years:
- Despite how badly you may want it to, chicken does not come breaded and in the form of a patty.
- We put a pound of mayonnaise on your sandwich because it makes it easier to choke down.
- That salad you’re eating is crappy brown iceberg lettuce; not exactly the picture of nutrition.
- The fast food joint has more ex-cons working it than a prison cafeteria.
- Food was not meant to be put under a heat lamp. It does crazy things to the food.
- That milkshake you’re drinking often has the same amount of calories as a normal person needs in a given day and starts as slimy goo in a plastic bag.
- The “grill” marks on your burger are not natural but come out of the freezer that way.
- “Crispy” chicken does not a healthy salad make, no matter how much you want it to be.
- Most of the equipment is cleaned with some nasty chemicals…and they wonder why a constant diet of fast food burgers might cause cancer.
- Yes, the employees DO spit on the food.
- The ten-second rule? It’s more like the 60-second rule.
- Gloves, shmoves.
- You expect us to get your order right? We don’t even look at the bag when we hand it to you out the drive thru window.
- Was I really supposed to wash my hands after using the bathroom?
- Half of the people in the back are stoned off their a$$!
- Under NO circumstance should you eat the chili…you DON’T want to know!
- Relationships with the resident stripper are NEVER a good thing.
What was one of your first jobs? Did any of my “confessions” make you cringe? Would you like fries with that?!
Photo courtesy of: Nap Mayo
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